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Pronouns Guide
Inclusion for All
I've created a resource document outlining an introduction to pronouns and honorifics. Feel free to include this at the end of an email, as a selection on your website, or just a resource you share with someone who needs just a little more help on staying inclusive to all.
What Are Pronouns?
Pronouns are words you or someone else may use in replacement of a proper name. Some examples include gendered pronouns like “she/her/hers” or “he/him/his,” as well as gender-neutral pronouns such as “ze/hir,” [pronounced: zee/heer] or “they/them.”
Some people may use specific pronouns, any pronouns, or none at all.
Here’s an example of using “they/them” in a sentence: Corey is substituting for me today; they’re an incredible artist!”
Why Should We Focus on Pronouns?
You may notice that many people have begun sharing their pronouns in introductions, at the beginning of meetings, and on name tags.
This is important in a few ways; this allows people the opportunity to self-identify instead of assuming someone’s pronouns or identity. The inclusion of pronouns is the first major step toward respecting everyone's identity and creating a welcoming space for people of all genders.
How is This More Inclusive?
Pronouns can sometimes be an indicator of someone’s gender identity; however, this isn’t always the case. It’s important not to assume someone’s gender identity based on their expression (this can be through mannerisms, clothing, hairstyles, etc.) When we allow an opportunity for people to share their pronouns with us, we can show that we aren’t trying to assume their identity based on their appearance.
Do I Need to Share My Pronouns?
NO! You only need to share what you’re comfortable with. Just because you provide a safe space for others to share, does not mean everyone needs to share. However, you should always be respectful when someone else chooses to share theirs. Never make any negative remarks, it can take a lot of courage for someone to share that with you.
**If someone chooses not to include their pronouns on a nametag, or not to share their pronouns when introducing themselves, you should refrain from using pronouns for that person. Instead, you should refer to that person by their name, or, what appears on their nametag.
What if I Make a Mistake?
When someone is labelled by another person as a gender other than the one they identify with, this is referred to as misgendering. Many (not all) associate their pronouns with their gender identity. This means that using the wrong pronouns (intentionally or unintentionally) is a form of misgendering.
If you make a mistake, that's okay. Everyone has slip-ups, the important thing is being respectful in your follow-up. If you are corrected, you should apologise immediately, or say thank you and use the correct pronouns.
E.g. "This is Gray, she is my co-worker." *You are corrected because Gray uses he/him/his pronouns.*
"Sorry, he is my co-worker" or "Thank you, he is my co-worker."
The most important thing to be mindful of is to not pass on your guilt of misgendering them to the individual or expect forgiveness. The person may have a very strong reaction to the misuse of their pronouns and may often need some space to re-centre themselves. Do not overly apologise or make a scene out of the incident. This may only draw more unwanted attention to them.
Isn’t it Preferred Pronouns? What About Preferred Gender Identity?
Yes, but no. For a while, we would use language beginning with “preferred” when referring to someone's pronouns, gender, or sexual identity.
Collectively, we have shifted away from this language to reinforce that a person’s pronouns aren’t just preferred; they’re pronouns that have to be used.
How Can I Show my Support?
Include Your Pronouns: Put your pronouns under your name on a name tag, or be the first to introduce yourself in a group setting. Use language like “Hello, I’m Jax and I use she/they pronouns.” Or, if you’re speaking directly to someone (like in an interview or professional setting) you can use language similar to “Hi, I’m John and I use he/him pronouns, are you comfortable sharing how you’d like to be addressed?”
You can also include your pronouns in your signature, be it in an email or written document.
Sincerely,
Mx Johnson
They/Them/Theirs
What Are Honorifics?
An honorific is a title that conveys esteem or respect for a position or rank when addressing someone. Some examples include gendered honorifics like “Ms/Mrs/Miss” or “Mr,” as well as gender-neutral honorifics such as “Mx,” [pronounced: mix/mux] as well as “Ind,” [which stands for individual] or “Pr” [which stands for person.]
Many professional titles are already gender-neutral such as “Doctor,” “Sergeant” or “Captain.”
Some places have also made it customary to use “Sir” as a professional designation as a replacement for both masculine and feminine designations, however, this has not seen widespread use.
Mx
Pronounced like mix or mux, the title Mx (which, like other honorifics in this guide, is styled without the period as common in British English) has been used more and more throughout recent years. It has become a sort of “gold standard” in various countries like the UK - which allows its use on various official documents like driver’s licenses and bank documents. While some of the earliest print evidence for the use of Mx was in a U.S. magazine in the late 1970s, the U.S. is yet to adopt it more widely.